短英语小笑话大全？英语简短笑话

本文目录

• 短英语小笑话大全
• 英语简短笑话
• 非常短的英语小笑话
• 简短的英语小笑话精选
• 英语短笑话带翻译

短英语小笑话大全

　　笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事型别,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。我整理了简短爆笑英语笑话，欢迎阅读! 　　简短爆笑英语笑话篇一 　　A gentleman came to an inn on a very cold day, and could get no room near the fire. 　　He called to the hostler to fetch a peck of oysters, and give them to his horse. 　　"Will your horse eat oysters?"said the hostler. 　　"Try him,"said the gentleman. 　　Immediately the people ran to see this wonder, and the gentleman who alone remained in theroom, chose the best seat by the fire and made himself fortable. 　　怎样在火炉旁找个座位 　　在一个严寒的冬日,一位绅士来到了一家小客栈,发现火炉旁没有空位了.于是,他让旅店里的马倌去取些牡蛎来喂他的马。 　　马倌说:"您的马吃牡蛎吗?" 　　"你试着喂吧."绅士答道。倾刻间,人们都跑去看这一奇观,而绅士却独自呆在屋里,他在炉旁找了个最好的座位,怡然自得起来。 　　简短爆笑英语笑话篇二 　　An artist had painted a child holding a basket of fruit. A friend of his, who admired this picture,wishing to show its perfection, said to some persons who were examining it that the fruitappeared so natural that the birds came to peck at it. A countryman, who heard these praises,said: "If this fruit is as well represented as you say, it is not so with the child, since he does notfrighten the birds." 　　毁誉掺半的画 　　一位艺术家画了张画:一个孩子提着一篮水果.他的朋友很欣赏这幅画,他很想告诉别人这画的美妙之处,就对几个正在细看画的人说,画中的水果画得多么逼真,连鸟都会来啄的. 一个村夫听了这些赞美的话就说:"如果水果画得真像你说的那样好,那么小孩就画得不怎么样了,因为他没有吓住那些鸟." 　　简短爆笑英语笑话篇三 　　A class of Physics at school. The teacher: "Now, who can tell me anything about heat?" A *** allboy held up his hand: "Heat makes things larger, Sir, and cold makes things *** aller." “All right! ”Give an example." "In summer days are longer because it is hot, in winter they are shorterbecause it is cold." 　　热和冷 　　学校里正在上物理课. 　　老师提问:"现在谁能讲一讲对热的认识?"一个小男孩举手回答:"老师,热能使东西膨胀,冷能使东西缩小."老师说:"很好,举一个例子.""夏季,白天变长,因为天气太热;冬季白天缩短,因为天气太冷." 　　

英语简短笑话

英语简短笑话大全

　　导语：阅读笑话，为生活创造更多的快乐。以下是我整理的英语简短笑话大全，欢迎各位的阅读与参考。

　 　英语简短笑话【1】

　　顾客：小心，你的大拇指在我汤里了!

　　服务员：别担心，先生，不是很烫!

　　Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup!

　　Waiter: Don’t worry, Sir, it’s not that hot!

　　 英语简短笑话【2】

　　 一个服务员给顾客拿来了牛排，大拇指在牛肉上。

　　“你疯了吗?”顾客喊到，“你的`手在我的牛排上!”

　　“什么?”服务员说，“你想让它再掉地上?”

　　A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat.

　　"Are you crazy?" yelled the customer, "with your hand on my steak?"

　　"What" answers the waiter, "You want it to fall on the floor again?"

　 　英语简短笑话【3】

　　服务员：茶或咖啡?先生。

　　第一个顾客：我要茶

　　第二个顾客：我也是茶——杯子要干净的!

　　服务员：两杯茶，哪个要干净的杯子?

　　Waiter: "Tea or coffee, gentlemen?"

　　1st customer: "I’ll have tea."

　　2nd customer: "Me, too - and be sure the glass is clean!"

　　(Waiter exits, returns)

　　Waiter: "Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?"

　 　英语简短笑话【4】

　　服务员，这只苍蝇在我汤里干什么?

　　看起来象是在仰泳，先生……

　　Waiter, what’s this fly doing in my soup?

　　Um, looks to me to be backstroke, sir...

　 　英语简短笑话【5】

　　服务员，汤里有只苍蝇!

　　别担心，先生，面包里的蜘蛛会干掉它。

　　Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup!

　　Don’t worry sir, the spider on the breadroll will get ’em.

　 　英语简短笑话【6】

　　服务员，我汤里有只苍蝇!

　　不是，先生，那是蟑螂，苍蝇在你牛排里。

　　Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup!

　　No sir, that’s a cockroach, the fly is on your steak.

　　 英语简短笑话【7】

　　服务员，汤里有只苍蝇!

　　别让别人看见，先生，要不别人都要。

　　Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup!

　　Keep it down sir, or they’ll all be wanting one.

　　 英语简短笑话【8】

　　服务员，汤里有只苍蝇!

　　我知道，先生，我们没有另收钱。

　　Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup!

　　Its OK, Sir, there’s no extra charge!

　　 英语简短笑话【9】

　　服务员，汤里有只苍蝇!

　　对不起，先生，我弄走那三个时忘了这个。

　　Waiter, there is a fly in my soup!

　　Sorry sir, maybe I’ve forgotten it when I removed the other three.

　 　英语简短笑话【10】

　　服务员，汤里有只死苍蝇!

　　是的，先生，是开水杀死了它们。

　　Waiter, there’s a dead fly in my soup!

　　Yes sir, it’s the hot water that kills them.

　 　英语简短笑话【11】

　　服务员，汤里有只死苍蝇!

　　1美元你想要什么——活的?

　　aiter, there’s a dead fly in my soup!

　　What do you expect for $1 - a live one?

　　 英语简短笑话【12】

　　服务员，汤里有只蜜蜂!

　　是的，先生，今天苍蝇放假。

　　Waiter, waiter, there’s a bee in my soup.

　　Yes Sir, it’s the fly’s day off.

　　 英语简短笑话【13】

　　服务员，来杯咖啡，不加奶油。

　　对不起，先生，奶油没了，不加奶怎么样?

　　Waiter, I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.

　　I’m sorry, sir, but we’re out of cream. How about with no milk?

　　英语简短笑话【14】

　　服务员，你的领带在我的汤里了。

　　没关系，先生，它不缩水。

　　Waiter, your tie is in my soup!

　　That’s all right, sir, it’s not shrinkable.

非常短的英语小笑话

非常短的英语小笑话

　　当听别人说笑话的时候觉得不大好笑，还会觉得冷很冷，可是自己看的时候，却笑到不行，你有这样的经历么?以下的非常短的英语小笑话，希望能让你欢乐笑不停。

　　非常短的英语小笑话(一)

　　纹身

　　A few months after Tom and I were married一during World War II, he was shipped off to Pearl Harbor. In one of his first letters，he wrote，"I’m going to have a Navy battle-ship tattooed on my chest.”

　　二战中，汤姆和我刚结婚几个月，他就被派到珍珠港。在他早期的一封信中，他写道:“我想把海军战舰纹刻在胸前。”

　　Instead of pleading, I answered simply,“Send me a pitcture of your tattoo，and I’ll have a duplicate put on my chest. "

　　我没有劝阻，只是简单地回了信:“给我寄一张你纹旁的照片来，然后我也在我的’胸前仿纹一个。”

　　We have been married for 51 years. Neither of us has a tattoo.

　　我们现在已结婚51年了，谁也没纹过身。

　　非常短的英语小笑话(二)

　　关心

　　A customer at my teller’s window was grumbling about the low interest rate on his savings account. He finally said he was just going to take all his money out of the bank，dig a hole in his back yard and bury it.

　　一位顾客站在我的出纳窗口前，埋怨存钱的利率太低。最后，他说他妥把所有的钱从银行里取出来，在自家后院挖个坑，把钱理了。

　　The teller next to rne leaned over. "Sir，I couldn’t help overhearing. Tell me, what is your address?".

　　隔壁窗口的出纳员探过身来说:“先生，我实在不怒愉听，但还是听到了，告诉我，您住在什么地才?”

　　非常短的英语小笑话(三)

　　过分紧张

　　My little girl loves animals，but one day she was bitten by a small field mouse she’d found. She carried it home in her pocket and told me what happened. Worried about rabies，I called our town humane society and was told that the animal would have to be examined, and they’d send someone for it.

　　我的小女儿喜欢动物。但有一天，她被一只她找到的小田鼠咬了一口。她把那小动物放在口袋里带了回来，并把所发生的一切都告诉了我。由于害怕她被传染上鼠痊，我给镇上的私区医院打了电话。他们告诉我这个小动物应被检查一下，还说他们会派人去把它取走。

　　When the humane-society truck pulled up，a big man got out，put on a pair of gauntlets and took a capture stick and a big cage from the back of the truck. Trying not to laugh, I handed him a small shoe box containing the mouse.

　　社区医院的卡车停在了我家门口，一个大个子下了车，他戴上了防护手套，从车的后箱里取出一根棍子和一个笼子。我

　　尽量克制自己不笑出来，把那装有小田鼠的杜盒子递给了他。

　　"Lady，"he said，seeing my expression, "they only told me it was a wild animal. "

　　“太太，”当他看到我的表情时他说，“他们只告诉我说是好生动物。”

　　非常短的英语小笑话(四)

　　异奇!

　　My first waitressing job was in a coffee shop. We featured a lunch special called "Tuna Salad Surprise"，a tuna sandwich served with soup and chips. When our sandwich maker didn’t show up for work one hectic Saturday，we had to prepare our own sandwiches.

　　我做招待工作始于咖啡店。我们有道午餐特餐叫“金枪鱼沙拉异奇”。这个套餐实际上就是把金枪鱼三明治、汤、薯条技在一起吃.一个例霉竹星期六，我们那做特餐三明治的

　　厨师没来上班，我们只好自己准备三明治。

　　A man sat down and ordered the special. I raced to the sandwich board，prepared the order，poured his coffee and rushed to the next customer. Later，as I delivered his check,he noted politely that he had never. eaten a potato-salad sandwich before. Horrified at my mistake，I asked，”Why didn’t you tell me it was potato salad instead of tuna?"

　　一位男食客坐下来，要了这道特餐。我跑到了三明治拒台，替他准备好了套餐，又给他倒了一杯咖啡，就开始招待下一位食容。不久，我把帐单递给了要特餐的食客.他很礼

　　貌地说，他从没吃过土豆沙拉三明治。这时我才意识到我把三明治弄错了，我真有点害怕了。我问他:“你为什么不早告诉我特餐是土豆沙拉而不是金枪鱼沙拉呢?”

　　"I thought that was the surprise.”

　　“我还以为那就是所谓的异奇呢.

简短的英语小笑话精选

　　笑话从另一个角度反映着人们对于各种现象的态度,笑话是民族幽默的集中体现方式之一。下面是我带来的简短的英语小笑话，欢迎阅读!　　简短的英语小笑话精选 　　(一) 　　make your own bed 　　Farmer: If you want to spend the night here, you’ll have to make your own bed. 　　Traveling salesman: That’s perfectly all right. 　　Farmer: Here’s a hammer and saw. Good night. 　　(二) 　　给父亲账单 　　Send the Bill to My Father 　　Doctor: ″I can do nothing for your complaint. It is hereditary.″ 　　Patient: ″then send the bill to my father,please.″ 　　给父亲账单 　　医生:“对你的抱怨我无能为力。那是遗传病。” 　　病人:“那请你把账单给我父亲吧。” 　　简短的英语小笑话阅读 　　(一) 　　Excited Remarks 　　Our son, at age of five, had a fascination for motorcycles. The sight of one would always bring forth squeals of delight, accompanied by excited remarks of Look at that! Look at that! I’m going to have one of those someday, his dad’s response always was Not as long as I’m alive. 　　One day, while our son was talking to a little friend, a motorcycle passed by. He excitedly pointed it out to the boy and exclaimed, Look at that! Look at that! I’m getting one of those as soon as my dad dies. 　　激动的话 　　我五岁的儿子对摩托车有强烈的 爱好 。只要看见一辆摩托车,他就会高兴得哇哇直叫,并激动地说:瞧这辆!瞧这辆,我总有一天也要有一辆。他爸爸的回答老是只要我活着,你就别想有这玩艺儿。 　　一天我们的儿子跟他的小朋友在说话,有一辆摩托车开了过去。他兴奋的指着摩托车叫道瞧这辆!瞧这辆!等我爸一死我就要有这样一辆摩托车了。 　　(二) 　　A simple sense 　　Once upon a time, there were two hungry people got a gift: a senior and a basket fresh fishing huge fish. Among them, a person to a basket fish, another a rod, so they parted. Get the in situ fish sticks who build up a fish, and cook bonfires, yet he tasted the fish meat, fish soup, even in he ate, and soon, he starved to death in the empty fish basket. Another person is carrying rod to starve, step by step, hard to the edge, but when he has not seen the blue sea, he was the last bit of strength and make out, he can only with endless regret looking salto earth. 　　And two hunger, they also received a gift elders and a basket fishing rod. But they did not each rush thing, but agreed together to find the sea, they only cook fish, they pass distant journey, came to the sea, and they began a fishing day, after a few years, they built a house, with their families, children, had built a boat, the well-being of life. 　　A person only, get the immediate benefits will be short, One goal, but also to face the reality of life. Only the ideal and the reality, to combine may become a successful man. Sometimes, a simple, but enough to give people a meaningful life. 　　关于简短的英语小笑话 　　(一) 　　BlackBerry or iPhone 　　BlackBerry has just unveiled its new model handset, the Bold, in an effort to match the competition of Apple’s 　　iPhone. The latter’s intuitive touch-sensitive screen has been a big selling point, but critics say the BlackBerry’s 　　keyboard makes it more user-friendly, especially for email. Which gadget tops your wishlist? 　　(二) 　　A Half-price Ticket 　　半价票 　　"How much is the movie ticket?" 　　“电影票多少钱一张?” 　　"Ten dollars, kid." 　　“10美元，孩子。” 　　"I only have five dollars. Please let me in. I’ll see it only with one eye." 　　“我只有5美元。请让我进去吧，我只用一中眼睛看。”

英语短笑话带翻译

　　民间笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。我精心收集了英语短笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!　　英语短笑话带翻译篇1 　　Liar,Liar 　　骗子，骗子 　　A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband wasmissing. 　　老婆与隔壁邻居到警察局报案 说她的老公失踪了。 　　The policeman asked her for a description. 　　警察要求，她形容一下。 　　She said,"He is 35 years old,6 feet 4 inches,has dark eyes,dark wavy hair,an athleticbuild,weighs 185 pounds,is soft-spoken ,and is good to the children." 　　她说：“他三十五岁，六尺四寸，黑眼睛，波浪状的深色头发;体格健壮，体重185磅，说话很轻，而且对小孩子很好。” 　　The next-door neighbor protested, 　　隔壁邻居期提出反驳说： 　　"Your husband is 5 feet 4 inches,chubby,bald,has a big mouth,and is mean to your children." 　　“你老公五尺四寸，胖嘟嘟 的，秃头，有一个太嘴巴，而且对你的小孩很刻薄。” 　　The wife replied,"Yes,but who wants"THIS KIND OF STUFF"back?" 　　老婆回答说：“你说对了，可是谁会要 这种没用的废物 回来呀?” 　　英语短笑话带翻译篇2 　　A Henpecked Husband 　　怕老婆的老公 　　A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. 　　有一位怕老婆的老公接受心理治疗师的建议要坚持自己的主见。 　　"You don’t have to let your wife bully you,"he said."Go home and show her you are the boss ." 　　他说：“你不必让你的老婆像恶霸一样欺侮你。回家去让她知道你才是老大。” 　　The husband decided to take the doctor’s asvice.He went home,slammed the door,shook his first in his wife’s face,and growled," 　　这位老公决定接受医生的劝告。他回到家，用力啪答一声关上门，在他老婆的面前：挥舞着拳头，并且大声咆哮说： 　　From now on you are talking orders from me. 　　“从现在起，你得乖乖听我的命令。 　　I want my supper right now,and when you get it on the table ,go upstairs and lay out my clothes. 　　我现在就要吃晚餐，当你把它弄好放在餐桌上的时候，到楼上去把我的衣服摆放好。 　　Tonight I am going out with my friends. 　　今天晚上我要和我的。朋友外出， 　　You are going to stay at home where you belong. 　　你给我乖乖待在家里不许乱跑。 　　Another thing,you know who is going to tie bow tie?" 　　另外还有一件事情，你知道谁要替我打蝴蝶结领结吗?” 　　I certainlydo,"screamed the wife."The Undertaker." 　　老婆尖叫着说:“我当然知道。是收尸的人。” 　　英语短笑话带翻译篇3 　　向你的烦恼说再见 　　A Jew, an Indian and a black were lined up to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. 　　一位犹太人、一位印第安人和一位黑人列队进入天国之门。 　　Said the Jew to St. Peter, 66 Frankly, I’m rather surprised to be here. All my life Christians havedespised and reviled me. " 　　那位犹太人对圣彼得说：“坦白讲，能到这里让我蛮惊讶的，我一辈子一直都受到__的轻视和侮辱。” 　　"That’s a great sorrow to us,"said St. Peter, "but you won’t find that kind of prejudice here.Here, all are truly equal.Just spell God and you may enter." 　　“我们实在感到非常遗憾，”圣彼得说，“但我们这里没有那样的偏见，这里每个人都完全平等，只要拼出God这个词你就能进入天堂。” 　　the Jew truly spell out god and was swept through the gates.Next,the Indian came forward andsaid,"St.Peter,all my life I suffered from poverty and discrimination,and could only live in areservation.Will I truly be free here?" 　　那名犹太人正确地拼出God后，被招入门内。接着印第安人走向前说道“圣彼得，我一辈子饱受贫穷和种族歧视的打击，而且只能住在居留地内，我在这里能得到真正的自由吗?” 　　"My son, your troubles are over.Just spell the word God you will be free as a bird. " 　　“小兄弟，你的烦恼已经结束了，只要拼出God这个词，你就能像小鸟一样自由自在。” 　　The Indian obliged and he, too, entered the Heavenly Kingdom. 　　印第安人照着做，不久也被引入天堂。 　　Next,the black man strode forward."St. Peter," he said, "all my life people looked down on meand treated me unfairly.That won’t happen here, will it?" 　　接着那名黑人跨步向前，“圣彼得，”他说道，“一辈子人们都瞧不起我，不公平对待我，在这里那些事不会发生吧!” 　　"Of course not, my boy. We don’t do that kind of thing here.Just spell" onomatopoeia "and theKingdom of Heaven is yours " 　　“当然不会，我的弟兄，我们不会做那样的事，只要拼出onomatopoeia这个词，天堂之国就是你的了!” 　　 看了“英语短笑话带翻译”的人还看了： 1. 英语爆笑笑话 2. 有关于英文笑话带翻译简短 3. 英文短笑话带翻译欣赏 4. 英语笑话带翻译 5. 关于超短英文笑话带翻译